ice skating with a warm heart

It's 9pm, outside the war is starting. Inside my fingers are sore from pulling the laces of my skates tighter than tight in the freezing cold. My nose and cheeks are red and glowing. We've been ice skating today in this amazingly beautiful Dutch aria of fields and entangled streams. I'd never seen something like it ever before! Holland is under a spell of freezing temperatures with the sound of scraping and sliding metal. It's been more than 10 years I last stood on skates, but hoping I might have inherited a special gene I gave it a go. No ice-hockey skates but noren- no idea what that is in English. With 'we' I mean my dad, his good old ice skate friends and me.
The bad news.... I got lost in the masses -a couple of thousand Dutchies- and the immense amount of misty lanes. The good thing is that I can still skate, found my way back, loved it and had mulled wine in an old windmill.

wait for me

It's almost time,time to go.
To leave, to go to my next home.
Thank you Berlin.

You have done more for me than you realize.
It's not only your great bars, museums and funky flea markets,
or the way I can take my beer into the U-bahn anytime anywhere.

It's what you allow me to be,let me do,inspire me and never judge me.
The way you let me stay in for days and days, always waiting patently on my doorstep.

Be myself.

Thank you Berlin.
Thank you all beautiful people of Berlin.
Thank you Judith.

No goodbye.
I love you.

True Love Will Find You In the End - Daniel Johnston - Daniel Johnston

Pancake Pig

a pig
a pancake
lots of beer
and flour
nutella
and food
colouring
egg

Birds Lament - Moondog

To be, or not be be truncated.

One of your disks needs to be checked for consistency. You might cancel the disk check , but it is strongly recommended that you continue. Windows will now check the disk. First allocation unit is not valid. The entry will be truncated.

I think my laptop is angry with me for not using it the last month. I went off to Hungary without her and expected full devotion when I got back. Should have known. Women.
Maybe baby Jesus is also interfering, cause I have more emails in my inbox than he has birthdays. But the most obvious is that a 'certain lesbian in denial' is hacking my computer when she's coming over for lunch. Scared I might mention her. Too bad! I still have paper, pencil and enough beer in the fridge.

Today is Monday -no, its not Tuesday- and yesterday was Sunday. A week ago I flew back. Not only back to Berlin but also back in time, leaving friends, lobsters and loved ones behind to pick up my life again -on the other side of the sea. Today I was saying to Gemma -the Lesbian- that my life is in a constant flux of meeting, getting to know and leaving people. I might be running away, afraid they'll discover that I'm actually really boring! Could be that I haven't yet found the right place to settle down, that the constant saying goodbye hurts me more than you can imagine.

Had a great weekend. Meeting and leaving people behind... again. Went on a last minute trip to Leipzig with DJ Magnet & Schnitzel head. Danced the whole night and made loads of pics with Rene's camera -Schnitzel head- link at end of post. The next morning I woke up, opened my eyes in again a new house. White ceiling. Had breakfast with lovely people that gave me this now so familiar pain in my gut when we got in the car back to Berlin. Bye.

Sometimes it takes me too long to leave somebody behind, they stay with me without physically being there or speaking to me. Stuff and things and crap hold memories that can be like a wall I cant break down. I tried and tried, but only a week ago I succeeded. I sold it. I sold the stuff that -without being particularly special- put my life on hold. I'd put it all in a van and took it to the place that was my heaven for a day: Cardiff Bessemer Road Car Boot Sale -even when I write it down it's got something biblical. From 9 ish till somewhere midday people bought my stuff like it was pure gold. Had a constant flow of money coming in that went straight to my personal accountant, Mister Raymond's big coat pocket. Every time someone bought something I felt more free. Didn't really communicate with anybody else than my buyers and told a little story with most of the thing leaving the table. Couldn't care less about the prices, the joy of seeing people walking off with my excess luggage was invaluable. "The selling of Judith's Worldly possessions in preparation for her departure. " is the face book photo album Mister Jones-Morris appropriately named. Off again. No going back. Truncated.

www.nogozone.de/LErockt/index.html

Urge - Daniel Johnston