purpose with an open end

When it’s up to me I don’t really think about why I do the things I do and why I don’t do it any other way that might be more logical. I don’t need to have a reason to do something, only a desire to do it.

Mostly I get very excited when I start doing something out of the blue, where will it take me? It’s a sort of happiness that makes my brain fizz and wonder of into a worlds, ways and stories. My mind gets flipped inside out into a parallel world where everything is possible and no explanation has to be given.

This afternoon for example… I started to sort the stuff I’ve been collecting during the past three weeks or so. Egg boxes together with egg boxes, empty jars with empty jars, tetra packs with tetra packs, vitamin tablet tubes next to vitamin tablet tubes, plastic kiwi trays stacked together with plastic kiwi trays.

After cleaning and ordering them into mice piles I took some out and started cutting them into any random shape my scissor told me to. Two hours later I stopped, put the pieces into boxes and placed the boxes next to the old school bench in my room and smiled. Made a coffee and sank into the kitchen sofa where I started at the knives on the wall whilst drinking my coffee. Kitchens are great.

Since I’ve been living in this lovely house the part of the kitchen where I usually save my things became a mix of empty and full packaging. I leave empty and full ones side to side. On purpose. This sometimes means that I think I still have something but it actually ran out the month before. Exciting stuff. Thinking of swapping packaging, maybe put muesli into a pasta bag or eggs into yoghurt cups.

Then I opened a word document and started writing. I love not knowing how this ends.

texts: may 2009- januari 2010

+4477 Ok have fun. Have made appointment for 14:30 at Charles st. Text you tm.X 30.Mai 2007 20:37:45 +4478 Oh, I didn’t notice. It’s so lovely, thank you so muchly. Had a great time saturday. Sneaking into clwb, stealing beer. Let me know when You’re out and about.x 18.Feb 2008 20:51:08 +4478 Drunken cake baking it is then! Can I meet you somewhere near uni 9ish? 18.Feb 2008 22:32:50 +4478 I’m sure it means something to somebody somewhere. If I’m not crushed by a giant rock in the mean time I’ll see you there. Excellent. 18.Feb 2008 22:50:12 +4479 Am good, cheers! It’s Raynaud’s disease I think. Yrs, dr duffy x 2.Marz 2008 12:26:22 +4478 (Textteillefehlen)ou’re not grumpy for the trip tomorrow. X 4.Marz 2008 21:22:08 +44781 Hey hey oodie oodie pie. Beat me to it, I was half way through texting! Thanks for my fancy egg. You rock! Suck a shame to eat it but I’n gonna anyway. Work was fine. Be sure t get to bed early now. Xx 18.Marz 2008 19:08:53 +4478 Listen up you pathetic bunch of pencil necked geeks. Birthday Friday. Going to the wrestling (7:15pm canton community hall, behind tescos on cowbridge rd east) bring booze. Ladies meet round the back for some andy kaufman style action. Be there or be []. Xx 26.Marz 2008 13:13:58 +4478 Hey wrestle buddy. That’s amazing news, gonna be fabelhart. But who’s boogers am I gonna suck?!? Maybe you can post them over. When are you off? I was so tired today. I fell asleep against my computer about five times. Hope you fared slightly better and didn’t knock the ant tank over some kiddies. X 1.Apr.2008 21:25:54 +4478 I had lunch at eleven. I have a break at two thirty. I will come and see you then. 2.Apr.2008 12:29:02 +4478 zzz…zzz…xxx…xxx…zzz…oops. sleep texting again. Your carriage awaits. X 4.Apr.2008 05:02:49 +4478 Hey sweetietorte. Hope you are enjoying your first day in Deutschland, and haven’t insulted any nice german people. I’m out shopping for pens, rubbers and Tupperware. I’m super excited.x 5.Apr.2008 13:24:10 +4917 Hallo Judith, ich fand dich gestern sehr sympatisch. also wenn du das zimmer in neukölln möchtest- gern! würd mich freuen. Claudia 20.Juni 2008 08:08:35 +4478 Hey hey funny face. Just got back home. Can’t believe I’ve got to tidy this place up. Some maid You turned out to be! Hope You have a lovely trip back. And are able to steal a snack trolley. Kiss kiss. 8. Juli 2008 15:00:49 +4478 (Textteilefehlen)eirdness. I was pretty lost, and needed that in my life. It’s going to be mega mega mega dull not having you around. But really should be working anyway…Bloody art. Good times kid. X:* 8 Juli 2008 15:59:34 +4917 Who?meinst du wo oder wer?wir sind roman und katha aus berlin und ich würde vorslagen,wir treffen uns nach björk an der linken leinwand wenn man auf die bühne schaut.ich habe einen hut auf und eine rote jacke an..Bis gleich 20.Juli 2008 22:57:29 +49177 Hey!apologise?for being drunk?:)no way.I had a great time and i’e really like to join you but i’ll be working till night today.maybe next week?or plans f(Textteilefehlen) 24.Juli 2008 16:01:18 +4478 It only hurts when i breathe. When You were playing roulette with a drunk triangle, that was a dream. When i was covered in warts and tried to pull the sun out of the sky and hurt my hand, that was reality. I’d like to crawl into a sleeping bag and free associate with You.x 21. Aug.2008 14:06:10 +49177 Hey u.gisa is home now.lausitzer xx it is.ring at zieger.tripod is in front of my roomdoor. 9.Sept.2008 20:13:48 +3165 Judith, wil je mij jou of Bauke zijn mailadres sturen naar r.deklein.bar@xx.nl Dan kunnen we foto’s ect uitwisselen. X René 28.Sept.2008 13:59:08 +4076 Komm in die Wuhlischstr.xx und klingel bei fuchs. Sontag um 2, yippieyayeah!10.Okt.2008 19:35:13 +3164 Dag judith,ja ben veel onderweg.maar jij ook begreep ikmaar bel me als je in de buurt van budapest bent.goede reis johan 22.Okt.2008 18:05:54 +3620 Ok I will work tomorrow but Andrea can meet you 25 Okt.2008 09:20:13 +36205714990 Hi.sory i got your email just now.my addres is Koztelek u. x. You can come here by the busz. Nr.14 or it’s 10min. Walk from the centre.Hope u’ll find us.Kriszta 28 Okt.2008 20:53:53 +3630 Of course!let s meet at 18h at my place on klauzal ter 8.bip me when you re in front of the door.see you! 2.Nov.2008 17:26:38 +4478 Hey lovely. Your blog makes it sound magical. Can’t wait to see you. Editing again tonight…Had a big shave today. X 6.Nov.2008 17:49:54 +4478 Hi can you go online. I will be online in ten minutes. Mat 14.Nov. 2008 00:31:41 +4478 Caroline’s gonna come down glenroy for about 6. Dinner’s on for tonight. You scared? X 21. Nov.2008 12:23:56 +4917 Hey bigoodie is back!welcome!meis fine and busy with the diploma.lets fix Friday night for diner and drinks an talks and maybe we should ask Lindsey c (Textteilefehlen) 24. Nov.2008 22:25:18 +4917 Haha.i know.and its not like I do have lots of stuff for my family but even the small things have to be done…looking forward seeing you tomorrow! You b(Textteilefehlen)22.Dez.2008 17:26:31 +4478 Hey sweetness. Out in weatherspoons. Just wanted to wish you well on the next leg of your adventure. Hope this gets to You. X 18.Jan.2009 20:45:19 +3165 Heerlijk om je weer gezien te hebben. Ik vindt je een geweldige meid met veel energie en z’n positieve uitstraling. Je bent net Bauke  gruss Rene 19.Sept.2009 20:47:03 +4917 Boppstraße.nummer 5. aber du musst mich anrufen da es keine klingel gibt. 11.Okt.2009 15:00:53 +4917 Heyho.konzert war wunderbar, muss dir die musik mal geben...wir werden sehen ob das die woche noch klappt, aber hey, weinachten ist ja nicht das endede(Textteilefehlen) 13.Dez.2009 15:51:06 +4915 Thanks Judith! Enjoy your evening and let’s catch up soon xo 24.Dez.200920:10:53 +3162 Gelukkig nieuw jaar!1.Jan.2010 01:43:09 +4917 Huhu u and yourself..ick wunsch dir ebenfalls ein tolles jahr. Bunt und farbig und schön und laut und leise, mit arbeit und freizeit glück und hoffnung (Textteilefehlen) 2.Jan.2010 18:18:58 +4917 liebe judith meldest du dich bei mir? Danke susanne aus dem kinderladen 12.Jan. 2010 17:00:13 +4915 Hallo,Judith!here Ruuta,its my new German number!I’ guess,you are busy with your kids-just wanted to tell that we wrote the project for QuartiersManagement, I told you about-wanted to ask if you wuld have some time to check it out? (we wanted to go to QM tomorrow to show it)!13.Jan.2010 14:08:42