ice skating with a warm heart

It's 9pm, outside the war is starting. Inside my fingers are sore from pulling the laces of my skates tighter than tight in the freezing cold. My nose and cheeks are red and glowing. We've been ice skating today in this amazingly beautiful Dutch aria of fields and entangled streams. I'd never seen something like it ever before! Holland is under a spell of freezing temperatures with the sound of scraping and sliding metal. It's been more than 10 years I last stood on skates, but hoping I might have inherited a special gene I gave it a go. No ice-hockey skates but noren- no idea what that is in English. With 'we' I mean my dad, his good old ice skate friends and me.
The bad news.... I got lost in the masses -a couple of thousand Dutchies- and the immense amount of misty lanes. The good thing is that I can still skate, found my way back, loved it and had mulled wine in an old windmill.

wait for me

It's almost time,time to go.
To leave, to go to my next home.
Thank you Berlin.

You have done more for me than you realize.
It's not only your great bars, museums and funky flea markets,
or the way I can take my beer into the U-bahn anytime anywhere.

It's what you allow me to be,let me do,inspire me and never judge me.
The way you let me stay in for days and days, always waiting patently on my doorstep.

Be myself.

Thank you Berlin.
Thank you all beautiful people of Berlin.
Thank you Judith.

No goodbye.
I love you.

True Love Will Find You In the End - Daniel Johnston - Daniel Johnston

Pancake Pig

a pig
a pancake
lots of beer
and flour
nutella
and food
colouring
egg

Birds Lament - Moondog

To be, or not be be truncated.

One of your disks needs to be checked for consistency. You might cancel the disk check , but it is strongly recommended that you continue. Windows will now check the disk. First allocation unit is not valid. The entry will be truncated.

I think my laptop is angry with me for not using it the last month. I went off to Hungary without her and expected full devotion when I got back. Should have known. Women.
Maybe baby Jesus is also interfering, cause I have more emails in my inbox than he has birthdays. But the most obvious is that a 'certain lesbian in denial' is hacking my computer when she's coming over for lunch. Scared I might mention her. Too bad! I still have paper, pencil and enough beer in the fridge.

Today is Monday -no, its not Tuesday- and yesterday was Sunday. A week ago I flew back. Not only back to Berlin but also back in time, leaving friends, lobsters and loved ones behind to pick up my life again -on the other side of the sea. Today I was saying to Gemma -the Lesbian- that my life is in a constant flux of meeting, getting to know and leaving people. I might be running away, afraid they'll discover that I'm actually really boring! Could be that I haven't yet found the right place to settle down, that the constant saying goodbye hurts me more than you can imagine.

Had a great weekend. Meeting and leaving people behind... again. Went on a last minute trip to Leipzig with DJ Magnet & Schnitzel head. Danced the whole night and made loads of pics with Rene's camera -Schnitzel head- link at end of post. The next morning I woke up, opened my eyes in again a new house. White ceiling. Had breakfast with lovely people that gave me this now so familiar pain in my gut when we got in the car back to Berlin. Bye.

Sometimes it takes me too long to leave somebody behind, they stay with me without physically being there or speaking to me. Stuff and things and crap hold memories that can be like a wall I cant break down. I tried and tried, but only a week ago I succeeded. I sold it. I sold the stuff that -without being particularly special- put my life on hold. I'd put it all in a van and took it to the place that was my heaven for a day: Cardiff Bessemer Road Car Boot Sale -even when I write it down it's got something biblical. From 9 ish till somewhere midday people bought my stuff like it was pure gold. Had a constant flow of money coming in that went straight to my personal accountant, Mister Raymond's big coat pocket. Every time someone bought something I felt more free. Didn't really communicate with anybody else than my buyers and told a little story with most of the thing leaving the table. Couldn't care less about the prices, the joy of seeing people walking off with my excess luggage was invaluable. "The selling of Judith's Worldly possessions in preparation for her departure. " is the face book photo album Mister Jones-Morris appropriately named. Off again. No going back. Truncated.

www.nogozone.de/LErockt/index.html

Urge - Daniel Johnston

Coffee at Cardiff's cheese specialist tastes better than in the whole of Hungary.

After leaving the temple of peace I strangely enough ended up in Madame Fromage, ignoring the Starbucks and Nero's on the way -no this is not a metaphor but an actual name of a building UNA exchange is based in. Through this organisation I'm going to Romania, so being in town I went over for a cuppa and a catch up. Got into a last minute training in Great Malvern. It's a pre-departure training for loads of different volunteers. Is this Wednesday and Thursday. Get to stay in a hotel. Great.

So, as you can see, I ended up in Wales. Quite a big jump back in time. It's great to meet up with all the old and familiar faces that transform rainy Cardiff in a subtropical Island where the sun always shines. My little brain can hardly cope with all the attention and enthusiastic looks in peoples eyes. It's scary that I have been missed. Straight away I stepped into the special secret world of lobsters, penguins, pineapples and the beautiful Welsh accent. It was still there! I also almost forgot about how little the ladies wear on a night out. Luckily it was the weekend of SWN -Welsh music and arts festival- and on the way from venue to venue I had enough long legs to look at. 

I didn't -unfortunately- traveled through teleportation from Budapest to Cardiff, but flew to London and got meggabussed over. Stayed in London for some cultural party crashing of an art sale, getting into free wine supply and had a little wander round the British Museum. Who said London was expensive? Well.. it is one of the most boring cities if you ask me. 

Made a new friend by the way. Ruphert Rubber I see as one of my cleanest and correctest friends, however he needs a bit of guidance. I deliberately write sentences and words wrongly to teach him, good innit? I always write my blog notes in Pencil, but my last 'little' friend left me alone, abandoned me for some reason. He literally vanished and all is left is the metal cover he used to live in at the end of my pencil. Keep on flipping it to correct myself, scraping my paper. This scratching makes no sound, but I can hear it, feel it, and it makes my body shiver. Went to the shop and got a new friend. He is Hungarian, but don't bully him for that.           

Go, but think about it.

Budapest is so enchantingly beautiful that you might consider not going on your own. The stunning lights in the nigh and massif buildings are extremly suited to share with a loved one -as a wise lady ones said "I save some cities to visit with mister right." Gemma, I still disagree but this city made me remember your words.Just visited the Hungarian National Gallery that is a massif building on top of the Castle Hill. It lies on the edge of the hill and overlooks both Buda en Pest. As I left the building, after a couple of hours wandering past the great Hungarian painters, I briefly stopped breathing. I was completely alone -museums are generaly for some strange reason empty- on this great squar with a balcony facing the illuminated city. I was impressed about what I saw inside, but this view couldnt be captured -Not even by a tousant canvasses or pictures- and needs to be experienced right there. If you are secretly a romantic -like me- you should go and see it for yourself.It made me feel a litle bit as fragile and yet so real as the paintings Mihaly Munkacsy -a famous Hungarian realist painter that captures the beauty of everyday live, ordinary peole and landcsapes in such a way that it sucks you in and make you stare at them for hours. His Thunderstorms made the hallways windy and The tramps of the night followed me down hill as I made my way back home. My fear for Budapest disapeard. Even yesterday -horrible monday- turned into an extremly plesant and relaxing day of bathing, sweating and freezing in a lovely old Thermal spa build in 1570. It has this wonderfull skylit central dome that that you see the sun shining through from the main bath -looked a bit like little auroras through my dampy glasses. Ladies day was heaven so I stayed there for most of the day.

2 kilos heavier and 3 days later

On the train again, intercity to Budapest. Relaxed and comfortable in one of those 6 persons coupes with two other ladies. In the hallway there is a little boy looking through the window, or at least trying because he is just about tall enough. It looks like he's playing the piano on one of the stools. I can see him mumble and frown his face like he is on the verge of composing something brilliant.
Was supposed to leave Debrecen an hour earlier but last nights pancake party was hard to end..
At the moment I'm not quite sure how to feel, excited or scared. Can I handle the big city, but more important, will I survive Monday? I hate Mondays, but not for the conventional not-want-to-start-work-again reasons. What the hell do I need to do with my day when all the museums are closed? I know that there is enough sightseeing to do, but I'm there not that long and already have quite a list of exhibitions I want to see. Why can't they not just be open 24 hours a day? Tesco can so I don't see the problem.
There was this horrible -havent seen anything like it before- Tesco Megastore Yeal (my Debrecen host) directed me to for pancake shopping. Thought I might find some good Tesco value foodcolouring, so instead of going to the cornershop I walked a bit further to Tesco land. Not only they didnt have foodcolouring -no fancy pancakes- it also made me feel sick and uncomfortable. Looked like a small colony that could litterly sustain without leaving the premises. Am surprised Tesco is not in the housing business yet and building small shoe box like apartments and special Tesco schools on an extra floor. Needed gps to find the Nutella but got there eventually.
Unlike Tesco Ive been fortunate again to find a host in the Center of town, a stone trow away from the main museums. Last Friday I did the Deri Museum -with beautiful work of Mihaly Munkacsy, the 'painter of the puszta'- and Saturday Debrecens Contemporary art museum Modem. Both of them amazing! The Russian contemporary art catalog made me 2 kilos heavier.

Florence Foster Jenkins

Bjork is taking me into the night . Left Szeged at 16:00 and will be getting to Debrecen at 20:30. Bus is not that shaky, at least I can read and write a bit. Daniel Johnston took me from Pecs to Szeged but not have enough Bjork to last the journey. Need to find something else soon otherwise I will get lost. Scrolling down I stumbled upon Florence Foster Jenkins, ace lady. So it will be. Pitch black outside now. If I was on the train right now I would have written more, think the bus has a strange influence on me. Mix of thinks; no toilet, not seeing anything when I try to look outside, and the a big Hungarian man that -actually needs two places for himself- sitting next to me. Throughout the last couple of weeks I have been filming. No vegetable mess and soup covered cupboard, but my own feet. No real touristy things, just my own feet and the places that they've been.

Obama vs Rita

I keep forgetting the days. For weeks I’ve been talking about the elections but when Charlotte mentioned this evening that Obama won I couldn’t care less. I’ve been completely sucked up in my –yeah; how do you call this- travel to the past. I know it's Wednesday today, but the date…I do know that life is treating me well, or am I treating life well? It’s the same in my eyes. Been to Hodmezovasarhely today (now yesterday) and after visiting the Mora Ference Museum yesterday -in Szeged-Getting completely hypnotized and send back to the past by the painters of the great plain I was determinate to leave the centre as soon as possible and try to find the house my grandmother her brother and parents lived. Janos Tornyain, Istvan Nagy and Josef Koszta putt a spell on me with their fragile brush strokes transforming oil and pigments into sheds, women washing clothes and horses and sheep grazing in the fields.

My great grandfather –Josef Dajka 1883-1964- came from a very poor family and so he started working when he was seven. He grew up in these fields surrounding Hodmezo, first watching geese for 100 pengo a year, and after his 15th birthday he got promoted and got send to the fields to look after the horses. He stayed with them day and night and sometimes as long as 5 months and afterwards taking back up to 100 little calves. I’d never looked at a painting of an 'ordinary' field that long. My great-grandfather and great-grandmother had an arranged marriage. She was 18ish and a smart little lady that could write and read and he and he about 8 years older. In 1912 she gave birth to her first, a son, and on March the 24th 1914 my gran stepped into this world. Unfortunately my great-grandfather missed it because he was in the bloody army- WO I started at the end of 1913. Just image: Hungary was 7 times larger that time. He did return but it took him a while. After the war things were not good and my grandmother was very weak and underfed. There was this scheme set up in Holland to help Hungarian children like her. Families took children into their houses to feed and strengthening then. This is how she first moved to this strange new country, only being 7 years old, not knowing there was a world outside Hungary. She stayed for 1,5 years which after she needed to go back to the little farm where she was born on the outskirts of Hodmezo where she grew up. It was difficult for her to get used to Holland but it didn't take long before she could speak the language and go to school. She was sad to leave. But she would return. So I got a map and looked up the street, Tork Balint Usta 7, where my gran was born. The woman at the tourist information pointed it out for me, it was quite far out but it was a beautiful day so I didn’t mind at all. Although November you easily could go out wearing short sleeves and feel the warmth of the sun. After taking an alternative route zigzagging my way through quiet lanes, past blocks with pretty colonial houses and stopping at the local bar for a very strong coffee I found it. In a daze and caffeine rush I wandered into to the street listening to Magyar folk music coming from one of the houses. Number 7. I couldn’t believe it. Crossed the street and stared at the house, it was a fairly big house with front and back garden filled with flowers. Just stood there. After a while I turned around checking if nobody saw me just standing there and listening to the music. When I turned around again I went a bit closer to the fence and tried –very cheeky- to peek inside. Saw the contours of an old lady sitting in a chair probably listing to the same music coming from the radio. A car stopped and a middle aged lady stepped out and walked to the house and opened the fence. Know or never I thought, so I went over and asked if she spoke English. No luck. Showed her the name of my grandmother and the name of the street . She said a lot. An old man came outside observing this very funny conversation of me speaking English not understanding her and the other way around. I don’t speak Hungarian but understood that I was not at the right place. Their was a little difference in the street name, and the house I was looking for was much further out. Maybe not even there anymore. I didn’t care. And when they went back inside I left the daisies I picked earlier behind on the fence.

Finished my wine –was sitting in a grand café just around the corner from my new home. Changed couch surfing host on Monday eve and am now staying with this French lady that teaches law in Szeged University, in French. She moved over for this job 2 months ago and lives in this old communist building right in the center of Szeged. Look Klauzal Ter up on Google maps and see for yourself. Charlotte is great. Didn’t like the French –like the Germans an Australians - but she made me change my mind. Another home I will be leaving soon but that will always stay in my memory, like so many things on this trip. I really try to do as much off route things -not mentioned in the lonely planet- as possible, following my own curiosity. So it happened that I walked in to this typical old fashioned bar in Hodmezo with little round tables, wobbly stools and a long counter like bar with a large variety of spirits and sweets –the best combination if you ask me. Lady with black curly hair started talking to me in Hungarian and, as I got used to doing, I did this sign like thing with my shoulders to make clear I didn't understand a word –but she kept on talking. “Alcohol?” and when I said the word Soda -although it sounded tempting- we understood each other. Set down with my bubbly water. An old man was sitting on the other side of the bar, he looked at me and I could see him think: “What is she doing her?” Big question marks in his eyes. The only fancy thing around were the flickering lights of the slot machines in the corner and the shiny leather chairs in front of them.

Also found myself a lovely place to drink coffee here in Szeged, the cafe in the Mora Museum is the best and always nice and quiet. The museum shop is also excellent, bought some nice cards and a pendant of Saint Rita. In Hodmezovasarhely I bought a beautiful neckles for her so she can live around my neck. Turning into a little consumer with all this buying going on.

Radioactive Disneyland.

Am in Szeged and watching the Monday morning kick start. Found myself a little bakery at the end of the pedestrian area, good coffee. The constant flow of students is getting their daily breakfast consisting of pastries that look like a small continent covered in powdered sugar or hiding under a thick layer of chocolate. The town -second biggest University city- looks very pretty and with its pastel coloured buildings with beautiful facades I would never ever refer to it as suicide capital of Europe -which according to my host lies beneath the surface. The little tram wiggling through the centre and the variety of shops, people, little balconies and buildings that sometimes look more like a blown up beds of flowers have more in common with Disneyland if you ask me. My host here, Istvan, is a friend of Eduard that hosted me in Pecs. Both great guys from Transylvania.
After leaving Szombathely by train heading towards Pecs I felt like my parents were standing on the platform waving goodbye but knowing I would return one day -my bed sheets are waiting for me as Andrea called it. Need to say it agian: They were great! I had a 4 hour journey a head of me before entering somebody else's live in Pecs. On the way -for maybe 1 or 2 seconds- I felt a little small. It was Friday eve and in my train were loads of young Hungarians going home or gathered together to go out to town. Where is/ was my home, my town? Do I need to choose one or can I just call a place home when I feel like it that particular moment? Rhetorical question.
The moment I met Eduard at the train station, chatted on the bus and got to his house I felt at home. He didn't make this difficult for me at all because, he even called the room I stayed in my room. I find it truly amazing how every time I meet a couch surfer it feels like meeting an old friend. I think that there is this couch gene that activates this social part of the brain when meeting another one. We had 2 great days of sightseeing, eating and talking about Hungary and Romania. Was great to have a little inside into the country I'm gonna move to in January. In case this is new for you I will quickly fill you in. Basically Im going to do an 8 month voluntary project funded by the EU for an organisation in Buchaest called Art Fusion. We -4 people in total from different countries- will be setting up and running a participated theatre group for youngsters. Can write more about it of course, but not now. Am drifting off again.
Pecs was very peaceful and relaxing. Although we did our main sight seeing on Saturday the city centre was almost empty -everybody was in and around the cemetery sorting, selling and stealing flowers and arranging candles to light as soon as the sun would set. It was amazing to see. Eduard - Geologist that is working on a project developing and building an underground radioactive waste deposit- also showed me this amazing fence covered with locks, locks of love that couple put there as a sign of their commitment to one another. It was packed and had no signs of being a fence anymore. Because every imaginable place was taken a couple of meters further along another fence was getting "locked". We also went to an enormous flea/ frui and vedge/ animal market on the edge of the ciry. I bought socks -hand knitted by this old lady- and Eduard got a piece of Old Amsterdam after getting advised by this Dutch cheese-man. Midday I took the bus to Szeged and discovered the grass was greener on the hills surrounding Pecs, literally. It was an amazingly sunny day again, round 20 degrees. The bus was not going very fast and was quite bumpy but I didn't care. Not going faster than 20 km/h -uphill- and passing through loads of little villages gave me the opportunity to see some of the beautiful Hungarian landscape in the golden sun. Another 4 hours later I arrived is Szeged.

Trick or treat!

It's Friday eve. I'm on the train again and over thinking the past few days. Read my granddads story about what he remembered my grandmother told him about how it was for her growing up in Hungary and how they eventually got together and the tragic of dying too young. I was very touched and it even got me in a bit of a melancholic mood. What a live. The toothless old man and his wive also didn't help. Old people -like babies- have is distinguished smell, but these people smelled differently. They smelled of Hungary. Although I never been there before I swear I recognized it...maybe it were the words of my grandfather or perhaps they had some of my mums goulash for lunch. Who knows? After finishing the 15 paged story I made myself a promise to visit her grave next time I'm in Holland. This was a good start of the coming 3 days cause I was staying with a very spiritual couple in Szombathely: Tibor and Andrea. Can't possibly describe how amazing this pair was, especially Andrea had this magical effect on me. Her whole way of living fascinated me. After walking to their place an getting to know each other through limited use of language and a lot of flapping with our arms we roasted chestnuts, ate apples and drank filtered water. Andrea is a Budist and only eats Bio products. She used to be a masseur but developed an unfortunate Hernia so can't work anymore and lies on a bed of nails everyday for at least half an hour as a treatment. We talked for hours about everything and nothing and sometimes understanding each other without words. Tibor worked Wednesday and Thursday and during those days I left the house for 2 hours to visit the local modern art Gallery and went shopping at Inter Spar. Also slept a lot, discussed the meaning of friendships and exchanged German vocab. When Tibor came back from work -he has many jobs but mainly masseur and fitness instructor in Vienna- we talked more and used him to translate some of the questions we had for one another. We basically couldn't always find the right words which a lot of the time was very funny. On Friday -which is today- we made a trip to Kozeg, a lovely city with an important castle that stopped the Turks (ca. 1000 years ago) from getting to Vienna. After walking around we visited the cemetery -this is a reoccurring theme cause Eduard in Pecs is also taking me to the cemetery tomorrow eve. The reason that so many Hungarians visit the cemeteries so much around this time is because tomorrow it is All Souls day, the day after all Saints day -ore like the Brits like to call it: Halloween. Both days actually don't have anything to do with getting as much candy as you can carry but with remembering the saints and the loved ones that passed away.

1937-1938
Top middle my Grandmother with on the left her brother and on the right my grandfather. Sitting below are her parents.

Central cemetery at night

But well, you can’t really call it nigh but the misty clouds made half 6 feel like 12. Went there after visiting the massif gardens of Schloss Schönbrunn, the humble residence where Franz Josef spend his first and last seconds. Had coffee with Nicole –my lovely last minute Vienna host- in the teahouse overlooking this grand building within he declared his eternal love to die Keizerin! Vividly remember watching Sisi as a little girl and sitting so close to the screen that Romy Schneider's dress had little green, blue and red dots in it. Mouth open wide, and –for this I was notoriously well known- a dribble hanging on my bottom lip that surprisingly enough could keep flowing for hours and hours. Maybe I had more saliva as a child or something, who knows. I still sometimes get like this when a film grabs me, quite embarrassing but please forgive me if you have the pleasure of experiencing it. Just don’t show me good films.
After sharing this childhood memory with Nicole I remembered reading that there are some famous people buried in Vienna. Nicole told me that she knew which cemetery there probably resting and that it’s a beautiful worth visiting one. She was meeting a friend so I decided to go to this Central Cemetery -that supposedly so big that you can see it from an airplane flying into Vienna- myself. Bloody wintertime made the evening fall quicker than expected and when I got there at 5.45 it was basically dark. But no worries, plenty of candles to show me the way. After searching the main gate for opening hours I discovered I only had 15 minutes left before closing time, but as still determinate to have a little wonder.

-Moving to the restaurant part of the train now for coffee. Wish I could stay on this train for hours. Sun is breaking through. Almost at the Hungarian border-
Ok, I am really getting followed…in the restaurant there was one other person, a train lover from Wales that has friends working in the National Museum in town! Really guys, I’m doing well so please stop checking up on me!!

In the mean time I changed trains in Gyor and am now on a local train.
But back to the cemetery… Dark… Great! Walked to the other side that was open till 7 (mister cemetery man tipped me on this one) Definitely saw Mozart and Beethoven because their names were writing obviously clear and big but could not make much out of the others. Hope I walked past Klimt. After leaning over and carefully trying to reads loads of stones I had to make my way back to the gate. Couldn’t see the time on my watch and didn’t want to be late. Too dark. Going to read my granddads story now. Am in Hungary 29-10-08

Bohumil Hrabal´s book:

Too loud and solitude, is an excellent travel companion. Bought it in Prague yesterday with Tine an Tiemo -A Czech lady that studied Dutch and Japanese in Prague and teaches Dutch at the University and a Guy from Bilthoven -close to Utrecht where I´m from. Ended up speaking Dutch the whole afternoon. Besides this witty and very nice encounter my couch surfing host simultaneously hosted 3 Brazilian Au-pair ladies that live in...Holland....till next March. Or the world is too small or I´m being followed. On my way to Vienna now- the first of probably many detours to my initial "Master Plan". Swapped a stop in Gyor for staying with a couple in Szombathely and visit the castle of the blood countess Erzsébet Báthory that lies about an hour away from the city of excellent ruins and thermal baths. The train there goes via Vienna, and after not hearing anything from my host last night I posted an emergency request on there couch surfing group. Got two text within a couple of hours and went to sleep knowing someone could host me today. So Austria today and tomorrow the couple in Szombathely is awaiting me. But first Prague.... What did I do? Besides getting introduced to an amazing Czech writer I´ve been to the church of Baby Jesus -I´m not making this name up, really- and had my photo taken in front of it by one of the two guys id´e traveled with from Dresden to Prague and accidentally bumped into again on that beautiful -but horribely touristic bridge that I forgot the name of. Next to this I also physically suffered from the abundance of minerals and bugs in the National museum that is belonging to one of Europe most significant collection -even curled up in my sleeping bad I could feel my legs ache. The bugs were breathtakingly arranged in this endless labyrinth of solid old fashioned displays -you know, the sloped ones that you can lean on but not supposed to. Nothing was missing, I even saw some new little fellas I´de never seen before. But on the contrary, I couldn't take the minerals serious. Although put in the same sort of displays mounted on top of oval trays that were gracefully inscripted with cold coloured letter stating their name and location of origin, I knew that I was getting tricked. I recon they just came up with some silly names, got some paint and got some tools out of the basement. There where just too many colours, shapes and patterns. I basically spotted a piece of old wallpaper and some mouldy bread... those currators should have been a bit more careful. And not to forget the names! Samsonite, Develin, Zoisit...they could have tried to be more creative and come up with something like: Judithdoneit? Those Czechs -if you ask me- just drink too much. It´s not their fault, its the government. They make the booze cheaper than coffee...yeah, what do you expect?? I think I´m gonna write to them because it got worse. In a dark little corner I spotted the back of a hedgehog covered in a terrible looking skin disease.... descised as a rock! There are limits. Also saw a photo exhibition in remembrance of Palach´s funeral and swear I saw a little boy passing by with a red and blue stripy jumper saying: "No suicide".

…………I’m leaving tomorrow

On my way to Hungary at least....the land of my grandmother so actually I should be a shamed that I waited so long. Bad girl! Am very curious about this part of my roots, wonder if I might turn into a Gypsy princess. Who knows?

My mum send me quite a long story my granddad wrote about his Hungry (haha) experiences -and I think also about the family and my grandmother (want to save it as long as possible so not sure exactly.) Printed it this morning to take with me. They are both gone, in a way it makes it even more special because the coming weeks they will be back alive through my eyes and thought. I have never known my grandmother but maybe we will meet somewhere, somehow.

Started to make a little Photoshop doc to show where the road hopefully takes me, didn’t finish it though. Was a mix of realising that everybody that reads this blog already knows where I’m going and the bloody carpale tunnel syndrome the makes my live a living hell! Will upload it when I'm back.

Most of my time I will try to Couchsurf: The best!… after wine, sushi and brushing my teeth than of course. Discovered this lovely way of travelling a month ago when I wanted to stay in Denmark and Sweden cheaply. It’s been so amazing! I was completely astonished with the hospitality of the people that hosted me. Check out: www.couchsurfing.com

After this very good week I decided to start hosting myself. Got my first request and asked Claudia –lady of the house- if it would be ok to help out this Belgium guy that was also experiencing the expensive living in Copenhagen en wanted to escape to bohemian Berlin. All was good. Quite close to the start of my own trip because his bus to Poland -next stop- would also be tomorrow –I’m writing this on Wednesday, tomorrow is Thursday- Ok, this is confusing!

Anyway, it worked out well. He actually slept all 3 nights, including tonight, at his brand new Italian lady friend. They met 4 days ago and get along very well. But this evening after Sushi with Rene I found him in distress back at my place. He was supposed to leave at 8 to meet her, something went wrong....

The other night he took his washing over to hers and was supposed to get it back tonight, sleep… and get the early bus. She would call…but didn’t . “She still has my trousers, what do I need to do?” he asked me. “Just call her!” I said -and was quite surprised he didn't think of that himself. He found out she was having a late diner at a friends, her voice sounded a bit annoyed. Lovely young Belgium boy was in a bit of a panic seeing his bus leaves at 5 tomorrow morning. He left mine at 12 to get his washing.

But besides this non couchsurfing couchsurfing experience it can also work out the other way around. Gemma, the lovely Australian that cured me of me disliking Australians, we just met for coffee about two weeks ago–you don’t have to surf or host, meeting up for drinks is also part of the hole couchsurfing platform. Had more coffee…..diner….wine…coffee…wine.....and she is going to stay in my room for the month I’m gone. She was actually visiting Berlin for a week or so but can’t stand the thought of leaving.

Leaving tomorrow………

You Tube

http://www.youtube.com/user/OodieFace

Pandatron..

Is a variation on the marathon but than instead running you work non stop for days as a Panda moderator. I can truly say it's hard for me to imagine a world outside Panfu.

Fallen in love with what those kiddos talk about when they walk around in the land of Panfu, decorating their tree house, going for a hair cut, shopping or just decide to have a chill day on the beach. They can also play games and make money with which they can buy stuff –clothes, furniture- but only when they have this special Gold Status…that you need to pay for)

This little capitalistic concept is responsible for loads of anger, jealousy, hatred and inappropriate language. Some pandas marry, have sex, deliver and/or adopt children, cheat, checkout each others new bathroom, have domestics and fall in and out of love several times during one shift -4 hours

Basically I work with this programme that first filters the normal, harmless stuff -that I therefore don't see: how are you, what a nice day, lets go for a walk- so that I end up only seeing lists and lists of all the dodgy, but most of all very creative stuff. I can select, block, lock and delete Pandas WHEN, and there is where the fun starts, I catch them.

Never expected such inventive little minds, the role plays and language they come up with to trick us is endlessly! Pandas, especially Dutch ones, can be very mean and sneaky getting passwords, email addresses and mobile phone numbers. And then there is always the adult that tries, the poor little boy that also gets picked online and hard core kiddos that think they can hack Panfu. But I see everything. My favourite warning is the message from God –it’s really called that. If you get 3 of those you can’t chat for 30 min. The fun thing is that they get a personalized message with at the end my name: Moderator Judith. Usually this message gets ignored but besides giving a warning I can also give Positive feedback: Panfu is a nice place to live thanks to special pandas like you. Would you not absolutely love getting a message like that? Trust me, pandas go mental. They started talking to me, Judith is lief -Judith is nice in Dutch.

Panfu is not only a place of disgrace, also very nice conversations and special friendships develop. There is this one Panda that is called Pope, he is really religious and doesn’t like other pandas fighting. He’s got 4 dogs and has been going out with the some Panda lady as long as I can remember. A decent guy you could say. He’s a bit too old for Panfu, actually for kids up to 12 and he is 16, but he does no harm. Sometimes I catch him talking about God to new pandas, how important it is to have God in your live.

This other panda, Cheesetoasty, doesn’t learn from his mistakes. So many times my housemate heard me say out loud:': “You can’t say that, you know!” than 30 min chat lock and then you could just wait for it…again within a minute.

Of course you can’t exchange personal details, but they try very hard cause Panda swap is the new hype. If you have a gold packet that you paid for though things can get nasty.

What’s your password? WW? But than spelt wrong, cut up and send in different messages and more ways of getting away with it. Some kids are more than willing to give any information whatsoever….my mobilenumeris….LOCK. I'm faster and smarter.

The beauty of this job is that I can set my alarm 10 min before my shift begins, go to the toilet –very important and highly underestimated- get the cereal out, make a coffee and get comfortable in the Kitchen. Don’t have to be home, just need a PC and internet cause can download programme anywhere. Also did some Panda checking in Copenhagen when I was couch surfing last month.

At the beginning it was quite tiring, focusing on this screen that is moving and chancing constantly but at the moment I can easily multitask by Skyping, emailing en couch searching at the same time and still do a good job. Planning a trip to Hungary for the end of the month for a couple of weeks, my gran is from a town in the south close to Szeget. I’ve never been to Hungary in my live so decided to go on a little roots hunt. Am very lucky to have found lots of nice people that want to host me, couchsurfing.com is the best! Romania is happening after all, will be going at the end of January for 8 months…but that is a whole different story that will write about later. Need to pick my bike up now, got taxi back from Wednesday club last night, didn’t want to fall of my bike again.

Panda headquarters is in Berlin. All the different nationalities have there own row of desks –Panfu is in 6 different languages I forgot to tell, I’m working for the Dutch one.
You should come round when you’re in the neighbourhood.

Cold

test is working so now the rest

Bowls, crusty cereal bowls. Empty glasses on every surface, and stinky washing blocking my way out. And there I am....still in bed. Sitting though. Blanket wrapped around me being surrounded by tapes. Finally made friends with Premiere Pro. Should make a move before the shops close, running out of cereal. Do like camping but it's quite cold.

Romania

My god....o my god! It's maybe still happening.
Someone dropped out on the Art-fusion project in Bucharest...
They emailed me to ask if I still want to go. Of course!
Will find out tomorrow evening.

No going. It's sad.

Pluto.

Having a cold sore that has more right to be called a planet than Pluto can be seen as a scientific wonder, I just find it a nuisance.
It’s like passing a lady in the street with a pair of firmly rounded breasts; you just can’t stop staring.
I wish I wasn’t ugly. I wish I had bigger breasts. I wish I was a man.

Didn't figure out why stick insects get monitored on conveyor belts until today

killer turnips

Just remembered that I saw a fox today when cycling back home. He was crossing the road and disappeard behind a block of flats. It was half 8. Didn't look hurried at all, had a quite relaxed strawl. Was near the crossing Heinrich-Heine strasse with Annen strasse.
It was not a really really big rat, really. He was a couple of meters away and had a controlled yet relaxed trod.

It’s time

Need to write again because I really enjoy it and more important: My memory is bloody awful and I don’t want to forget one of the most amazing time of my live. The Leonardo project is over but I’m still in Berlin, can’t resist it. I need to be here. Found a lovely room in a shared house in Neuköln, a very exciting multicultural busy part of town close to the river.

Just got back from an exhibition opening a few blocks up, met up with Linds and Laura. Analyzed obscure drawings and had a pre Melt meeting. Next weekend can’t wait! We got rudely interrupted at one moment by a guy who wanted to know where the drink trolley was …can’t really blame him seeing I was wearing my stewardess outfit.

One of the artists made fetish like drawings that consist of a single line, quite intricate, you should have seen it.

Got back to Berlin last Tuesday evening. It was quite a weird feeling leaving after our wicked multi coloured pancake party at KC’s. It made me sad a doubting myself, but I know I need to do this and Cardiff with all it’s amazing people won’t run off. Hopefully. I loved surprising everybody, although some people were pre informed by Cardiff’s incestuous network. I’ve even pretended to be a sleazy stalker phoning people and not saying anything to just see if they were at home whilst they already new I was back for a bit. Anwen forgot about it because of over consumption so it was still a bit of a surprise. Although, I probably also inflicted some brain damage on people that resulted and funky dancing and hiccups. I’m not naming anyone Karlijn. Thank you all for not throwing me out even when I smashed the place, drunk all your booze rum and got over excited on your badge machine –started giving them away by the way- sweetie pie. Can’t get enough of Phoebe Kreutz….but I recon it’s because I’ve got disaster written all over me. Loved spending half of my time hiding inside watching German films, maybe for some a waste of time but now I can finally tap into arty-fartie conversations about Fassbinder and Kinski.

I’m working in Spectrum coming Sunday, the hands-on part of Berlin Science Centre, but I think everybody that reads this blog already knows this because I have been raving about it for weeks. Monday Acud again and hopefully the guys I send an email today that are setting up a virtual world for children on the internet and need a Native Dutch person to do some chat monitoring get back to me –would be so out of breath if I said this without breathing.

My first night in my new bed I dreamed about climbing onto a ramp holding an elastic band. I think it was some kinda bar on a boat I wasn’t supposed to go into. All went well till somebody told me I needed to change my climbing skills –he looked a bit like a bouncer so I did what he said. Move a bit more like abseiling and jump up and down against the wall were his instructions. I did. The elastic band stretched out enormously and I went higher and higher up into the sky. Felt great, until it snapped.

Love you all. Have fun with band practice coming Sunday, I will get my arse in gear to edit the video footage of our midnight session.

Ps. This is no code language, serious.

I'm a traitor?!

Cheered for Germany and loved it. Sorry Holland.

Had an ace grill and football night in the museum. We’d put the grill in the garden behind Mach-Mit and watched Germany v/s Poland on a big screen inside. The building is quite high and spacious because it’s in an old church, the walls need to stay in there original state and there is still a massif colorful mosaic. Good place for a screen.

Tonight is Holland v/s Italy and I have my first shift in Acud. They called me last night if I could help out straight away but I’d already had quite few beers and was very happy to sit down after a whole day looking through cardboard boxes at the flea-market in the boiling sun. Hard live. Thought Backer boy a few more dance moves to impress the ladies, but he got tangled up in his strings. Bloody marionettes. My shoulders look like lobsters, Claudio and Adonis would be jealous. Did have a little sleep in the grass in Tiergarten and saw a couple capsize.

Talking about grass, I’ve also been to a Freiluftkino Kreuzberg –open air cinema- there are about 6 different one all scatterd around Berlin But I think this one is particularly nice: Just al big screen and a pile of deck chairs. Take a chair and find yourself a nice space on the grass. Watched a really cool film about a guy that starts a relationship with a doll, keep your eyes open for Las und die Fauen.

There is also an open air swimming pool around the corner from my house. Not bad at all seeing the weather has been Mediterranean the last couple of weeks. Hope the weather in Cardiff is also warm and sunny.

Acud is a lot like Chapter but next to a cinema, theater, gallery and bar/ restaurant they also have a Fire Club.

No worries Paul, I will behave.
Heard that the Sleeveface party was ace.
Thanks for the cool photos David Schwimmer.

If you want to see something cool have a look at this. Click on video Nijkerk, my dad is on the left wearing light blue with a grey helmet.
www.skatesandrollers.nl

–more people are skating in his company outfit, www.mooiebadkamer.nl ;-)

Back to work now. Love Ice cream.

Time to update

It’s been more than a month and a lot has happened. A year older, busy as a bee cycling around in Berlin and working on some cool projects in Mach-Mit.

Don’t really have time at the moment to tell more but promises that all goes well and I'm still very happy.

Internet connection is still pretty bad though.

More soon.

Love & Liefs

judith

ABC Mirror-Maze

Started work on Tuesday in Mach-Mit, ran a fossil workshops and played in the Mirror-maze…..yeah, that’s right, a real Mirror-maze! Sent those TQ kiddos over to play here I would say next time they look at you like you just shot there puppy when you need to say again ‘No, sorry…we don’t have it anymore’ and than very enthusiastic start selling the ‘Flying Mirror’. ‘Yeah right, that’s not the same dude’, is what they than actually want to say... but never do.

Another cool thing of Mach-Mit is that it’s in an old church -that is still partly in tact- next to a Puppet Theatre in Prenzlauer Berg, a very trendy aria of Berlin. There are loads of second hand shops, bars, parks and funky people. It’s quite full on, the first two days it made me a bit uncomfortable when I walked round in my ABC QYZ jumper, felt a bit like an outsider -started in the Firt man by the way, thank you Kess! But am not going to spend 20 euros on a ‘vintage’ H&M. Saw a good charity shops this morning when I cycled to work on Schönhauser Allee, it had a big 1 Euro sign above loads of racks. That’s more my style.

The theme in the Museum is Energy and alternative energy resources. Translated ‘How to make a Solar-Powered Oven with a Pizza box’ into German and they loved it. Going to make a test model tomorrow or Saturday. …thought I got rid of the weekend work…NOT!

Ritterstraße 24

…that was all there was in the text. Had a look at the map, it was in Kreuzberg. We could have stayed in the bar that we were, which was nice and chilled, but the unknown seduced us. It was easy to get to, we just needed to change at Alexanderplatz to the U8. Didn’t have to wait of course; all transport runs frequently all night during the weekend. Was a bit gutted that we got to our station so quickly because the atmosphere in the U-Bahn was great. There was this very happy vibe like you almost forgot that weren’t in a bar. People were laughing, drinking. Behind those doors was a house party were you strait away start talking with the person next to you. It was half 4.

The street didn’t look that interesting, but when we got closer we got in this sea of locked bikes against anything and everything. Reminded me of some ace night in Tivoli –a club in Utrecht- were it was almost a sport to find a fens, lamppost, or anything else that meant having some kind of reference point so you didn’t take hours to find your precious bike back again. Been there.

More and more people appeared. We tried to count the houses and stopped when we got to 24, turned around and saw this massif old factory. We walked up the road that led into this courtyard were we saw the entrance. You could feel the music through the ground. Got there.

Getting in was like putting that extra cookie in your mouth when you already have crap in your jaws and starting to see black spots dancing in your vision, but we just drifted along with the stream. There were hundreds of people.

It wasn’t a Club but at the same time it was. There were loads of different rooms with little bars, stages and of course a DJ and dance floor. The way every room was decorated was well thought about but it wasn’t over done. You could sit in little corners on a comfy sofa, play table football, have something to eat or just wonder around in the maze of little allies that led to yet another change of scene. The music was a mix between Electronic, Techno, Hip Hop with a live stage with experimental music and performances, people could just join in with instruments or acts. There was this one mime player that I just absolutely loved. Watching a mime player at dawn is quite magical.

The stage was in a garden attached to the building with a fire in the middle and cocktail bar in the back. Spend a lot of time here, sitting on a little bench chatting away and listening to the birds singing.

It wasn’t really a club because it was organized by this Art community called: Die Kreuzberger Musikalische Aktion, basically a non profit organization that organizes different events and projects against racism and xenophobia –intense or irrational dislike or fear of people from other countries. There was no feel of insecurity but instead an amazing vibe of beautiful people having a great time. Left at half 9.

Diner from a plastic bag

Last day of Sprachenschule tomorrow, been studying for the last hours and had left over egg fried rice out of a plastic bag. We will be getting –ore having- a test about prepositions: eating from a bag, out of a bag….

Can’t do English anymore. Had an early night last night and woke up cause my phone was ringing ‘Ja, hallo. Met wie spreek ik?…ehh sorry…Entschuldigung. I, mean sorry I was just aan het schlafen...sleep, sleep I mean!' But you get the idea.

‘…..Nothing is really only an idea, because physically everywhere is something. But maybe part of nothingness is that ultimately everything is pretty much the same in terms of physical presents. In other words even the most boring stuff, like snow, is actually physical as present as a diamond, or as a person. What makes it valuable, or not, is our projection into it, and that transformation interests me, how something suddenly through an emotional charge, becomes different. This idea that everything, from pure physical point of view, is pretty similar –for instance the density of atoms is actually not all that different from air and stone- is what interests me, and what we choose to see and not.’

- Wolfgang Tillmans - Hamburger Bahnhof, 21st March- 24 August

Hamburger Bahnhof is amazing. You should go there and have a look at Flanders Trees -Rodney Grahams- Lilith am Roten Meer -Anselm Kiefer- and of course Andy Warhol’s Mao.

Night night

Grammar vs Dr. Pong

Grammar, please tell me about it! Went back home after class and felt a bit disarmed, had such a good practice yesterday but most of the lesson today was abracadabra. Made loads of notes that I didn't understand, and when Svea -my lovely teacher, bless her- it afterwards again explained I still had 'Keine Ahnung'

What is the difference between an Akkusative or Dativ noun and how it relates to the preposition….die, das, was, tas..o no!! lieft, stellt im, ins, unter, zwichen…or was it den or dem haus???

Been a very good girl and stayed in the whole night ‘trying’ to do my homework. Had some bean chili and a couple of beers and resisted the temptation of going along to Dr. Pong, a table tennis bar in Prenzlauerberg. Next time.

!""$$%%^^&**(()___+++^

I’m really sorry for the crap Skype connection. Just tried to talk to my dad but it kept on cutting out. Everybody that tries to call me ends up quite frustrated so will send an angry email to the board of directors.

It’s not always bad you should know, sometimes you get lucky!

Ok, what have I been up to? First of all, I thought I new what a good night out meant…. NOT! Being used to get kicked out Chapter at 12 ish is history. Most of the places here only close here when there is nobody left. Just been here for a week and danced in an old factory, been club hopping and discovered plenty of funky bars. Be prepared when you come over! Will devote another post to where I’ve been so far but want to move on to some equally exciting.

I’ve been to my interview at Mach-Mit Museum last Thursday and it went really well. The museum is just amazing, a bit like Techniquest but more low-budget. At the moment one of the things they have is this special Easter corner with 3 special cases; one with eggs under a big heat lamp, another with eggs that are hatching -just imagine the little ones pricking holes in their eggshells and stumbling around- and the last one is with the chicks that properly rested, dried up and ready to step into the big scary world…. Thinking of it now, I don't know were they are going after this. Damn! There goes my bubble of fluffy happiness.

But the news is that I will be working there from the 29th of April! Will be running themed workshops and some of them are about the environment and energy saving technologies. They were very interested in my experience in Techniquest and would like me to get involved in assisting in developing some workshops, it’s just perfect!

www.machmitmuseum.de

Will still go two more weeks to German class, which is very nice. My German is improving very fast and I’m trying to speak it as much as possible. We have been to Wannsee today for lunch and a lovely sunny boat trip with some housemates that speak incredibly well German. They basically just refuse to speak there own language -Italian, French and good old English- Thanks guys, it was ace!

Have a test tomorrow and my grammar book is calling me…Judith, Judith….who bist du?

Lots of love, en knuffel voor Karlijn.
Judi

'Sprachen Sie Deutsch?'

There is a guy singing opera, think it’s quite a couple of streets (=hallway) away but can hear it loud and clear. When I got back this afternoon someone was giving a piano concert, wondering if it’s in a kitchen somewhere because the rooms are not that big.

Speaking of pianos, I saw an awesome Jazz band last night. Went to a little café that wasn’t mentioned in ‘Tip’ –Berlin’s cultural magazine- but a teacher in die Sprache Schule said it was the best place to go to have a chill. So we got there and it was packed. Found myself a little red leather stool next to a big chunky sofa with three Japanese that were hypnotized by the pianist. I thought the drummer was the best, only his features were worth the U-bahn trip; greasy blond bob, pointy nose and stripy cadi.

Started my language course yesterday, really enjoy it. Am the worst in the class but think the most determinate to improve. Today after class went straight home and sat in the kitchen drinking coffee talking about modal verbs and conjugations. Have a school notebook with a panda, a German one.

Tomorrow after class we are going to do a city tour with all the Leonardo kids –all 6 of us- They sorted us out with an experienced guide that supposed to be hilarious. We are meeting him at the tourist information am Brandenburger Tour.

Need to study his photo so won’t forget what he looks like.

Bis morgen!


PS: next Thursday interview at MACH-Mit Museum; museum fur kinder

day 3

Think my little prayer worked or maybe they forgot about me, anyway got away with it this time. Not to worry Lisa.

Bought a bike this morning on a little flea market, actually I bought two but the first one broke down in about 5 minutes. Two lovely Turks took it a while before they discovered the pedal really abgeknickt and wasn’t that easy to repair. Got my money back and went on hunting and found a red one with a squeaky daffy duck horn, Pep Pep! You should try it Ismaël, next lesson is with both feet on the pedals.

Going cycling in Tiergarten later, supposed to be beautiful.

Language course is kicking off tomorrow but I have already been pestering loads of Germans to practice with me, which mostly ended up hilariously funny in a mix of German, Dutch and English. The rest off the group is much better.. I think.

But some of them can hardly say ‘Ein bier bitte’ but maybe that had another reason.

-

Had diner with a group of Portuguese from kitchen party last night that was a mix made by Neha a Russian girl who made a traditional salad, Radji from Pakistan the curry master and the dragon eye tea and funky egg dish –don’t ask me what was in it- were made by Taiwanese Chena. American cookies for desert, freshly made by a couple from… And I bought the wine. Do need to make some pancakes soon I recon. My dad thought me this ‘secret’ recipe; replace the milk with beer. They are pretty damn tasty!

day 2

Haven’t got the slightest idea if I can keep up with a daily but so far Berlin hasn’t been boring at all. Yesterday went into town after getting to the Iranische Strase 6, the place I will be staying for the coming 3 months or so, and said to myself like I always do every evening: No drinks, early night, fresh start, behave and most important don’t insult any Germans.

So… ended up at a house party in a massif house in Prinzlauerberg, got drunk and am getting kicked out of Germany tomorrow morning.

Today spend most of my day at the police station but on the way back hopped on bus nr. 100, got to see the bloody wall and lit a candle in the Kaiser-Wilhelm-Gedächtniskirche.

day 1

There I am, at Heartrow having my vanilla latte with an extra shot to wake me up. National express should start installing bunk beds, my neck hasn’t fully recovered yet.

It all looks very fancy and save over here, lots and lots of staff that have a sixed sense for travellers in distress. But is this a fake sense of security?

Last time when I flew I took my own lunch, made lovely sausage and mash the night before. Was a feast with 3 different kinds of mash with butternut squash, sweet potato, red onion, carrot, swede and ‘normal’ potato. You mach up which ones I put together. Anyway, enough bragging. The point is that I took it with me and before I left the house slipped a fork in my bag. Was looking forward to my lunch on 40000 feet. Security didn’t let me. How was I supposed to eat my lunch now??? Andrew told me that it was for the best because what if a terrorist felt a bit peckish, spotted my lunch and felt inspired to kill everybody on the plane by attacking them with my fork. ‘Blood and guts everywhere, you would want that to happen.’

But now I have got houmous, pita breads, carrots and knife with me.

Need to board now, see you in Berlin.